Their habitats, markings, and behaviors. On Twitter @RevoltingSnacks.

Pearson’s Maple Bun Bar

Description. From the same no-nonsense candy corp. that brought us the Salted Nut Roll comes the Bun Bar — a creamy patty (maple, vanilla, or caramel) topped with roasted peanuts and dipped in chocolate. Like its tubular brand sibling, the Bun Bar 1) bears a faintly PG-13 name; 2) inducts sugar into the bloodstream at the same rate one might expect from an intravenous injection; and 3) bears an uncomfortable resemblance to a turd.

Packaging/Branding. Between the blocky fonts and the brown stripes on a beige background, the packaging hearkens back to a high-school football player’s bedroom in the late 1980s, or to a hideous shirt Steve Sanders might have worn.

The product itself, meanwhile, seems identical to the Nut Goodie — because it is, as far as we can tell. (Similarly, the vanilla Bun is a differently shaped version of the Chocolate Nut Roll.) With existing products that duplicated two out of three Buns, it’s not hard to see why Pearson’s acquired the Bun trademark from Clark Bar America in 1998.

Flavor Profile. Surprisingly harmonious. Maple flavoring is frequently a steamroller, but the carapace of (unexpectedly fresh-tasting) peanuts keeps the maple in check. It isn’t a taste combination we’d have requested, but it’s not one for the mint/citrus files, either.

Habitat. The Midwest; practical jokes during the course of which a prankster is called upon to eat “poo.”

Field Notes. We salute any foodstuff whose ingredients list contains both “chocolate liquor” and “cream of tartar.”

Revulsion Scale: 5

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