Their habitats, markings, and behaviors. On Twitter @RevoltingSnacks.

Walnettos

Description. A shockingly non-vile and genuine piece of candy — not what we expected from a cousin of the pathetically off-putting Chocletto. While the fecal-presentation problem is also present in the Walnetto, and to an even more troubling degree (…nuts; enough said), everything else is a marked improvement.

With that said, between the color, the nut hunks, and the unfortunate tendency towards…glistening at room temperature, the visual is extremely disgusting.

Packaging/Branding. The first sign that the depressing Chocletto experience is not to be repeated is the minuscule Diamond Walnuts logo on each Walnetto wrapper. The wrapper’s color scheme is an upgrade as well, not mistaking “institutional” for “classic” as the Chocletto’s does.

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Choclettos

Description. The Chocletto is, in theory, the waking embodiment of every candy-loving child’s wildest dream: a hybrid of the Starburst shape, the Kraft caramel’s smooth chewiness, and chocolate.

The poo-hued reality falls short of “revolting,” but then, it just falls short, period.

Packaging/Branding. The Old Time Candy Company sends an eight-pack of Choclettos in a plastic dime-store sleeve; each candy is folded into a white waxed wrapper with “Choclettos™” printed in purple on the side.

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