Their habitats, markings, and behaviors. On Twitter @RevoltingSnacks.

Gummy Krabby Patties

Description. A Nickelodeon-branded version of your standard gummi hamburger (if we can say that a “standard” gummi hamburger exists), derived, of course, from Sponge Bob Square Pants. The TV show is fun; the dense, rubbery, flattened blob masquerading as a stack of fast-food burger parts is not.

Packaging/Branding. Nickelodeon and the Frankford Candy and Chocolate Company have taken great care with the fonts and graphics on the exterior box, as well as the individual servings, each of which comes in its own plastic sleeve with a teeny serving tray — presumably to prevent the Patties from melting into a gelatinous massif. If only as much concern had been expended on the…

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